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Dear Larry,
I fell on my trampoline and broke my wrist. Everything’s fine—I went to the doctor and got a cool new cast, but I don’t have anyone around to sign it or inquire empathetically about my injury! Where can I find some much-needed sympathy?
Sadly,
Broken-hearted and broken-wristed
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Dear Broken-hearted and broken-wristed,
I’d tell you to bring a sharpie to school, but unless you can detach your arm and throw it 6 feet away, that’s not an option. Right now, your best bet is to wave your arm empathetically in the middle of your class - either in person or over Zoom - so that your classmates can see.
Xoxo,
Larry
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Hey Larry,
My roommate pronounced Gif as “jif”. What do I do?
From Angry
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Hey Angry,
Send him to the guillotine.
From Larry
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